Tag: sandwich generation

genx & older millennials need a guide to parenting our parents

The Fort Worth Star-Telegram recently ran an opinion piece I wrote about the challenges faced by GenXers and older Millennials who are caring for aging parents, many of whom belong to the massive Baby Boomer generation that’s fond of drinking and predicted to develop dementia at higher rates than prior cohorts.

Here’s an excerpt:

All of us [GenXers] have arrived at the stage of our lives where we’ve become the glue holding the generations together. We host the holiday events. We keep everyone up-to-date on family news, like the family town crier. This being-the-glue-of-the-family seems to have happened slowly, then all at once. We went from being the ones with the lives built around raising our children and trying to advance our careers to the ones who’ve added parenting our parents to our to-do lists.

… Yet as we enter this new era of our lives, guidance is sparse. How-to books on raising kids tend to top out at the teenage years. There isn’t much guidance on how to give young adult children the support they need while simultaneously respecting their autonomy and trying not to anger them. Meanwhile, we’re doing the same thing with our parents, most of whom are living solo for the first time after decades of marriage. We’re trying to give them the support they need while simultaneously respecting their autonomy and trying not to anger them.

Read the full piece here.

scenes from the natick barnes & noble

In early May, I thoroughly enjoyed a lively discussion about Louie on the Rocks at the Natick Barnes & Noble.

My UMass-Amherst roomie and bestie, Gayle Long Carvalho, showed us her English teacher side by asking insightful and probing questions about Louie’s many themes ranging from generational divisions and understanding the mindset of the lead character as a proxy for MAGA voters, to being the adult child of a parent who isn’t acting in his own best interest and what happens when one spouse in a long marriage dies and leaves behind someone who doesn’t know how to pay the bills.

Gayle was, in two words: rock star.

The lovely crowd boasted friends from Southborough, UMass, and even an MFA student of mine from the Bay Path University MFA creative nonfiction program who I met in the flesh for the very first time. Thanks to all who took the time out of your day to chat with us.

author leslie gray streeter on ‘louie’

Baltimore-based author Leslie Gray Streeter and I met one another in 2020 just when our memoirs — mine, Uncomfortably Numb, and hers, Black Widow — hit the shelves. Our book promo plans upended by the pandemic, we joined a group of 70+ writers who all had books released at the same time, and we collectively tried to help one another.

A few years later, I met Leslie in person when I invited members of our writers’ group, Lockdown Lit, to a group book event at Tatnuck Bookseller in Westborough, Mass.

When it came time to solicit blurbs for Louie on the Rocks, her name immediately popped into my head because she and I are frequently liking one another’s posts on social media.

I also had the pleasure of reading an advance copy of her forthcoming novel, Family and Other Calamities. I LOVED it and can’t wait for others to have the delightful experience.

Here’s her full blurb:

Louie On The Rocks is a frank and, at times, blisteringly funny testament to the corroding influences of grief, addiction , polarization, regret and emotional abandonment. It’s told with multiple vivid voices giving witness to a tragic chain of events that might be stoppable – but probably aren’t.

— Leslie Gray Streeter

‘louie on the rocks’ book launch, feb. 15 in westborough, mass.

Please join me in celebrating the launch of my latest book, Louie on the Rocks, at Tatnuck Bookseller in Westborough, Mass. on Saturday, Feb. 15 at 4 p.m.

I’m honored that Worcester writer Kevin Koczwara — a former UMass-Amherst journalism student of mine — will be there to lead a writerly conversation with me about the book and its many themes, ranging from how political polarization affects families to how adult children should deal with struggling older parents.

After the conversation, we’ll do a Q&A, I’ll read a bit from the book, and then sign copies.

adventures in british football: catching up on the month of december

So … yeah … I’ve been a tad incommunicado here on this blog where I said I’d be chronicling my nascent Liverpool fandom. I’ll share with you some of the reasons why because I like to hold myself accountable:

I spent December wrapping up the fall semester and grading dozens of submissions from students in my undergraduate journalism class and two master’s of fine arts classes. When I completed that task, I revised three syllabi and three sets of online course modules for the spring 2024 semesters for three courses.

Additionally, there was the whole Christmas holiday prep — buying presents for the family and spending hours wrapping, planning the menus for two holiday dinners, cooking/baking, cleaning the house, and squeezing in a mid-December trip to visit my daughter Abbey and her boyfriend Anthony in their Bronx apartment.

In addition to helping my senior citizen father with his weekly medicine, paying his bills, and taking him to his medical appointments, I had meetings for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society (where I’m a member of the local chapter’s Board of Trustees, as well as an MS Activist, which means I lobby state and federal officials for bills which help those with chronic illnesses). I also did some more research for my work-in-progress about a Massachusetts Millennial minister, and, this is my low-key announcement, started working with a publisher to prep my second novel for a February 2025 publication date.

So … yeah … maybe taking on this British football project was a tad too ambitious. I realized early in December that I just would not have the opportunity to pull together blog posts for each game I watched. And I did watch all but one Liverpool game since I last blogged about the Reds. (I missed the Dec. 6, 2023 game against Sheffield United — which Liverpool won 1-nil — because there were too many people logged onto our streaming account. We’ve remedied the situation by purchasing our Liverpool-fan son Jonah an online streaming subscription for Christmas.) I watched eight games during December and one on New Year’s Day in my Boston area home, in our family’s Cape Cod place, en route to and in church, at Sean’s Bar & Kitchen in New York City, and at an in-law’s house during a holiday event. I took notes while watching most of these contests, but lost the ones I jotted on a Sean’s Bar & Kitchen napkin.

The Reds have compiled an impressive record during the past 10 games, winning seven, tying two, and losing one, the Europa group league game vs USG, which my Chelsea-fan son told me didn’t matter because Liverpool was advancing out of group play anyway, so I’d say they had a good December, in spite of my blogging lapse.

While I’ll post some highlights from my notes below, one question has been haunting me over the over-packed month of December: How can fans possibly keep up with all these games? Do they watch all of these games or some of them?

I, for example, don’t watch every Boston Red Sox game, given that they have 162 of them a season, and I still call myself a fan. I think I’ve been unduly influenced by my Chelsea-fan son who’s of the mind that only real fans watch every football game. (Yes, he’s employed.) I now realize that it’s unlikely that I’ll be able to blog about every game, and that’s okay. I’ll still watch as many as I can, taking notes when I can, and posting as I can.

As a British football newbie, I still find all these concurrent tournaments — EFL, Europa, never mind players leaving to play for their national teams’ continental football tournaments (like Mo Salah leaving Liverpool to participate in the Africa Cup of Nations for much of January) — befuddling. I’m unaccustomed to trying to balance all of the competitions in my mind. I think following just the Premier League would be simpler, but my Chelsea-mad son has strongly implied that would be very “plastic” of me. And, God knows, I don’t wanna be plastic.

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